Letter to Vivian

Dear Vivian,

Another year passed and it seems that time flies so fast but the feelings stimulated by your memories make the experiences like it just happened yesterday.  There were days you laughed, you frowned and you cried and don a grin on your face.  Sometimes, you just want to give up and retreat from the life that you didn't expect to be too hard on you.  Those are part of your past now, a part of who you are today and the foundation of who you will become someday.

I am just happy to be part of your life as much as I am thankful about your presence in mine.  I may not be too expressive about how I feel because I reserve it for special moments like this.  I don't want friendship to be overrated.  That is why I don't want to label you as my best friend.  It boxes our relationship as friends.  A friend is all I need, not best because it doesn't fit you, you are great.  I am more than thankful that you are my friend.   When I say more than, I mean beyond any cerebral thinking that a genius can comprehend.

Back to the days when I was a mess, you were there to help me pick up the pieces that were shattered by the pain that I permitted to devour myself.  I know you have a life to live and deal with too but you gave me a little space in your heart, a little time from your hectic schedule and a few words from your good-for-cum-laude-mind.  When I felt that God abandoned me, you lead me back to Him by attending the Wednesday masses.  I was a bit worried when there were times when you’re faith lessen because the person who gave back mine is losing hers.  To make it worse, I don’t know what to do.  So, I’m asking you a favor; have faith and lessen the fret in your heart.  God loves you as much as I love you.  He will never leave or forsake you for like I, I will always be here for you.

To a lighter sense, I guess we both failed to meet our target to have a boyfriend before our birthdays this year (2011).  Well, that's not too bad.  At least none of us has to spend money for a fine dinner for three.   Maybe we are not yet ready to have one.  We are still given time to make ourselves better so that when the right man comes along, we are changed-for-good-persons  who can handle relationships that could last and pass the troubles that this world might give us.  It’s ok to have crushes as long as these give a rush that serves as inspiration not harsh that makes us dwell in desperation.  You’ve been through a lot and the thing that you can do for yourself is to do away with the things that might hurt you.  That’s not raising a white flag.  That is just fighting with guards on.

Guarded life is not life at all is something that I have said before.  I don’t know if you can still remember that.  You’re getting old, right?  You have the every excuse not to remember.  Anyhow, things change.  Slowly, as we age, the degree of the trials that we need to surmount is getting higher in intensity.  Every time we conquer trials, we tried to celebrate our victory, but not after a long tranquil moment, another greater trial comes.  If life is a battle, then it is the time that we face a different enemy.  To combat them, we need to change our defenses.  Change our perspectives.  I feel you when you call me to tell me how tired you are.  How much you wanted to rest.  Before, we are side by side to battle those things that tire you, that tire me and that tire both.  We just find ourselves crying and then laughing at those problems.  Now, the distance is like the Trojan Horse that attacks us from the inside of the walls that we have made to protect us from our enemies and from the demons that we are afraid to fight.  So, putting a wall is not enough.  We need to make the inside tougher.  I know you are a strong person because if you’re not, you will not be celebrating this day.

I think I’m starting to sound like a preacher now so enough with the sermons.  Since it’s your birthday there are thing that I wish you can have.  I wish that:

1.       You have the rest you want to have.  The “BER” months are coming, so it won’t be long before your contract ends and you can have the 3-month rest you want.  I just hope you can prepare yourself for the parting because of your separation anxiety;

2.       You have a boyfriend so that you don’t have to fall in love with me. J That would make you a lesbian;

3.       You be happy. People live and die, what makes life different from one person to another are the thing that happen between their birth and death.  Have a happy life so that nothing will scare you for you know you lived a life that is on your own volition;

4.       You have the wisdom, strength and courage to resolve all the issues that you have in your life, be it with yourself, family, friends and love life.  Unload unnecessary baggage that you carry.  I know it easier said than done.  Even I have a hard time doing this but we both know that t is one of the few ways to happiness and contentment; and

5.       You be closer to God.  Before you call me, call God first then call me then we will make chismis about the things you said to Him.

I will leave you this lyric from a song.  It’s really beautiful.

Lift Up Your Hand

Life is not at all that bad my friend, mmm....

If you believe in yourself

If you believe there's someone

Who walks through life with you

You'll never be alone

Just learn to reach out

And open your heart

Lift up your hands to God

And He'll show you the way

And He said,

'Cast your burdens upon me,

Those who are heavily laden

Come to meall of you who are tired

Of carrying heavy loads

For the yoke I will give you is easy

And My burden is light

Come to Me and I will give you rest.'

When you feel the world is tumbling down on you

And you have no one that you can hold on to

Just face the rising sun and you'll see hope

And there's no need to run

Lift up your hands to God

And He'll make you feel alright

And He said,

'Cast your burdens upon me,

Those who are heavily laden

Come to me all of you who are tired

Of carrying heavy loads

For the yoke I will give you is easy

And My burden is light

Come to Me and I will give you rest.'

Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ma. Vivian Dy Navarro, RSW

Your friend,

Bjorn Daryll Manjares Oropesa