How I Wish

I wish I can kiss you to let you know I LOVE YOU

I wish I can give you the warmest hug to make you feel I LOVE YOU

I wish I can always be right there with you so that you'll know  I LOVE YOU

I wish I can make you laugh because it's one of the reasons why I LOVE YOU

I wish I can dance with you so I can whisper in your ears I LOVE YOU

I wish I can sing the songs I sang when I knew I LOVE YOU

I wish I can say your name after I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU...

1st Weeksary

Celebrating our first week together!
November 29, 2011 @ SmallTalk Cafe
I am so happy for the past 7 days of my life!
Thank you BOSS! :)

from your
MISS

It’s Christmastime

When I was a child, I always loved Christmas.  It is something I always looked forward to.  New things, gift from Santa, family reunions, staying awake until early Christmas morning, sumptuous food served – those were the memories of my happy Christmas.  The memories remain but the feeling is gone.

Bad things happened.  It got out of control.  What I chose to feel has everything to do with these happenings but I am taking the sole responsibility of what and who I am today.  What brought me happiness before is only bringing me loneliness today.  I have to protect myself.  Or am I just being pathetic?  Christmas is something I cannot avoid, especially, here in the Philippines.  It’s like my own version of Halloween.  It haunts me.  Jeepney rides, eating in McDo, text messages, Facebook, blog posts, everywhere! Darn! It’s Christmas everywhere.

Anyway, this is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life, unless, someone can really make me happy that I would love Christmas again.  Or little by little, I can start accepting the fact that those things happened for a reason and hating Christmas is not one of those.  And besides, I think I don’t have the worst life story, so I have the least reason to hate Christmas at all.

I am being nonsense and incoherent now.  Supposedly, what I am going to write was about how pleased I am with the Christmas Cards that I have designed that will be distributed during the “A Dinner for a Cause” but my start is a bit misleading huh?

The drawings were made by the children under CARE.  What I did is just add little designs and make it a Christmas card but due to budget constraint, I just decided to make Christmas Postcards.  That is the good thing with working at NGO’s, we tend to be creative just to make both ends meet.  It is something I wouldn’t exchange for a high paying job in a government setting.  It’s nothing against the government but I feel that my skills are utilized well and I can see output that gives me satisfaction.

Well I guess I am going too deep for what is supposed to be in a lighter context post.  So here it is before I say something more, the designs I made for the Christmas Postcards.  It is not final because I haven’t let my bosses check it but I want to show it raw.  Just my idea of what I think how a Christmas Postcard should look like.  I hope you like my Christmas Postcards as much as I like them.

Talo, the Christmas tree of the Filipinos.  We are a tropical country that is why it hard to have pine tree inside our houses and make it as our Christmas tree just like what I see and western movies.  Christmas tree is also something that binds family together.  More often than not, decorating a Christmas tree is a family affair.  It is an opportunity for every family member to contribute and express their ideas.  It is a simple yet joyous experience for any family.  And after the star is put on top of the tree and altogether, you will admire how the tree looked like, it is one of the most rewarding feelings.

Christmas unites.  Christmas is a time of sharing and giving love.  With these things, we set aside our differences and just too happy to spoil the mood.  We are given the opportunity to be more expressive of our love and care for the people who are dear to us.

A Belen I think is the most important representation of what Christmas is.  It’s about just having with you your family and people who care and just making them know how loved you feel and how you love them back.

I fought for this design.  According to one of my bosses, the tree is so modern and the color is not so Christmas.  For me, it was not really modern, it is very indigenous for me.  It’s just like the grass house from Batanes.  I did other justification but I already forgot them.  Bottom-line, I justified it well that is why it’s here.  The color brown is not that Christmassy but surprisingly it works with red and green.

That’s it.  The design I made for the Christmas Postcards and some realization while making them.  Those are the things I miss about Christmas and I wonder if I will be experiencing some of them again.

Merry Christmas everybody!  I love you all.

Pain in Your Heart

Almost a crush.

Just finished reading your blog.  :(

You're sad again.  I am sorry.  It's the last thing I want you to feel.  It's the last thing I want to do but my selfish wants took over me.  I should have seen the signs.  You weren't that excited to watch the movie.  I badly wanted to be near to you that I forgot to consider what you feel.  I am sorry.

It left a pang.  I am sorry.  It is a pain of not knowing how to save you from where you at.    I wish I can blanket you from all of those pains.  I wish I can save you from all of those heartaches.  What I do seems to backfire.  I just cant take away the ghost of your past.  I failed to give you a fairytale.  Instead, it was a nightmare that you have relived again.  Sorry. :(

Melvin's 26 Reasons to be Happy

It was supposed to be my post birthday party but since 26 is important to Melvin because of a crazy thing that happened in the past, I decided to make a little surprise for him to at least lessen the hurt the he's feeling every 26th day of the month.

1. You are loved by your family
2. You are talented.  Song.  Dance.  Act.  Name it, you have it.  You also have a future in facilitating.  You're a self-acclaimed mathematician.  You are more than blessed  with those God-given talents.
3. Mama Mary loves you!  Courtesy of Amy Moral.
4. You have the net CSSP Dean or better yet the Institute of Social Work Dean, Madam Vida, to guide you.
5. You have Madam Tanie who adores you.
6. You have Madam Franz, your official girlfriend, who never fails to add spice in your life.
7. Girls! Cars. Earrings.  Food.  Party.  Boys! >:D  We are not closing doors for you.  If you decide to change your gender preference, we will still love you as much as we love you now.
8. You are with the people who lve you.
9. Alam mo na ang Tune Pie sa Jollibee ay hindi parang ensaymada kindi empanada;  Alam na natin na ang sinasabi ng clrk sa Jollibee pag mag0oorder ay avail hindi havey at pag wala naman ay waley; at itinuro mo sa akin na kahit anong pindot ko sa screen ng CP mo, hindi yun gagana.
10. People enjoy your company.
11. You are a social work student and you believe in the worth and dignity of people.
12. You were able to fly.  Thanks to Cebu Pacific and Guidance Office.
13. You have MNT.  Cheers!
14. You are able to do the things the you love, not actually.  Policy number 5.
15. You are a citizen abiding to the law.
16. You're strong amidst the challenges.
17. Life is beautiful and so am I.
18. You are one of the chosen few because you passed the Battery Exam.  Not all people are given that opportunity.
19. You can't resist kindness.
20. You have the capacity to love.
21. You are creative, artistic and sometimes, just plain art paper.  You are part of the Social Work Creative Circle.  Being one of the people to organize such is already and accomplishment.
22. Every girl in the VIP Room will give you a hug and a kiss. XOXO
23. Since we are open minded, every boy here in the VIP Room will give you a hug and a kiss.  It's what you call BROmance! XOXO
24. You have a bright future ahead of you.
25. Don’t cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened.
26. You have moved on.

Bonus:

The one holding the microphone will give you a hug and a kiss. :)

26 cupcakes with photos of him and his friends.
Behind those photos are the 26 reasons why he should  be happy.

Letter to Vivian

Dear Vivian,

Another year passed and it seems that time flies so fast but the feelings stimulated by your memories make the experiences like it just happened yesterday.  There were days you laughed, you frowned and you cried and don a grin on your face.  Sometimes, you just want to give up and retreat from the life that you didn't expect to be too hard on you.  Those are part of your past now, a part of who you are today and the foundation of who you will become someday.

I am just happy to be part of your life as much as I am thankful about your presence in mine.  I may not be too expressive about how I feel because I reserve it for special moments like this.  I don't want friendship to be overrated.  That is why I don't want to label you as my best friend.  It boxes our relationship as friends.  A friend is all I need, not best because it doesn't fit you, you are great.  I am more than thankful that you are my friend.   When I say more than, I mean beyond any cerebral thinking that a genius can comprehend.

Back to the days when I was a mess, you were there to help me pick up the pieces that were shattered by the pain that I permitted to devour myself.  I know you have a life to live and deal with too but you gave me a little space in your heart, a little time from your hectic schedule and a few words from your good-for-cum-laude-mind.  When I felt that God abandoned me, you lead me back to Him by attending the Wednesday masses.  I was a bit worried when there were times when you’re faith lessen because the person who gave back mine is losing hers.  To make it worse, I don’t know what to do.  So, I’m asking you a favor; have faith and lessen the fret in your heart.  God loves you as much as I love you.  He will never leave or forsake you for like I, I will always be here for you.

To a lighter sense, I guess we both failed to meet our target to have a boyfriend before our birthdays this year (2011).  Well, that's not too bad.  At least none of us has to spend money for a fine dinner for three.   Maybe we are not yet ready to have one.  We are still given time to make ourselves better so that when the right man comes along, we are changed-for-good-persons  who can handle relationships that could last and pass the troubles that this world might give us.  It’s ok to have crushes as long as these give a rush that serves as inspiration not harsh that makes us dwell in desperation.  You’ve been through a lot and the thing that you can do for yourself is to do away with the things that might hurt you.  That’s not raising a white flag.  That is just fighting with guards on.

Guarded life is not life at all is something that I have said before.  I don’t know if you can still remember that.  You’re getting old, right?  You have the every excuse not to remember.  Anyhow, things change.  Slowly, as we age, the degree of the trials that we need to surmount is getting higher in intensity.  Every time we conquer trials, we tried to celebrate our victory, but not after a long tranquil moment, another greater trial comes.  If life is a battle, then it is the time that we face a different enemy.  To combat them, we need to change our defenses.  Change our perspectives.  I feel you when you call me to tell me how tired you are.  How much you wanted to rest.  Before, we are side by side to battle those things that tire you, that tire me and that tire both.  We just find ourselves crying and then laughing at those problems.  Now, the distance is like the Trojan Horse that attacks us from the inside of the walls that we have made to protect us from our enemies and from the demons that we are afraid to fight.  So, putting a wall is not enough.  We need to make the inside tougher.  I know you are a strong person because if you’re not, you will not be celebrating this day.

I think I’m starting to sound like a preacher now so enough with the sermons.  Since it’s your birthday there are thing that I wish you can have.  I wish that:

1.       You have the rest you want to have.  The “BER” months are coming, so it won’t be long before your contract ends and you can have the 3-month rest you want.  I just hope you can prepare yourself for the parting because of your separation anxiety;

2.       You have a boyfriend so that you don’t have to fall in love with me. J That would make you a lesbian;

3.       You be happy. People live and die, what makes life different from one person to another are the thing that happen between their birth and death.  Have a happy life so that nothing will scare you for you know you lived a life that is on your own volition;

4.       You have the wisdom, strength and courage to resolve all the issues that you have in your life, be it with yourself, family, friends and love life.  Unload unnecessary baggage that you carry.  I know it easier said than done.  Even I have a hard time doing this but we both know that t is one of the few ways to happiness and contentment; and

5.       You be closer to God.  Before you call me, call God first then call me then we will make chismis about the things you said to Him.

I will leave you this lyric from a song.  It’s really beautiful.

Lift Up Your Hand

Life is not at all that bad my friend, mmm....

If you believe in yourself

If you believe there's someone

Who walks through life with you

You'll never be alone

Just learn to reach out

And open your heart

Lift up your hands to God

And He'll show you the way

And He said,

'Cast your burdens upon me,

Those who are heavily laden

Come to meall of you who are tired

Of carrying heavy loads

For the yoke I will give you is easy

And My burden is light

Come to Me and I will give you rest.'

When you feel the world is tumbling down on you

And you have no one that you can hold on to

Just face the rising sun and you'll see hope

And there's no need to run

Lift up your hands to God

And He'll make you feel alright

And He said,

'Cast your burdens upon me,

Those who are heavily laden

Come to me all of you who are tired

Of carrying heavy loads

For the yoke I will give you is easy

And My burden is light

Come to Me and I will give you rest.'

Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ma. Vivian Dy Navarro, RSW

Your friend,

Bjorn Daryll Manjares Oropesa

Uncanny Like Letter

Dear Playful Cupid,

If loving him is wrong then I don't want to be right. Every time I see him dance, I like him even more. It is not a feeling I would like to entertain because just the thought of it is immensely insane. My thoughts are still messy at the moment but one thing is for sure, I like him. Hence, I am on for another rollercoaster of emotions. Having realized this makes e evaluate myself.

One thing is that I have no control over my emotions when it comes to my male friends. I only have a few male friends, there are my classmates from elementary up to college and co-workers. They are my friends because of our constant interaction when I was a students and now, a professional. But having a male friend out of the cited contexts are often subject to other emotion of love because of friendship. Now, I don't want to have close male friends.

Second, standards in looking for someone to love is constantly changing. I even doubt if there are standards at all. He is not my type, but why am I writing this? Simple, because I like him. He's a flirt. He is moody. He's demanding. He's not the typical handsome. His mannerism are often effeminate but I am sure he's straight. All these things, negative things, make him perfectly lovable. Him being nice, good dancer, capable of singing and sounding a bit soothing not just to my ears but to my unpredictable heart, sweet and comfortableness when he's with me are just add-ons. It's just weird that I usually fall for someone because of their negative traits.

Third, I don't know what I want. My emotions for the past love interests of mine are still powerful elements that I am clinging on up to this date. There are no closures. I still think of them. I still hope that there would be a 360 degrees turn of events that would make them run to my arms and share a mutual love. See, I am out of track. 

I am starting to feel sleepy. Today is a tiring day though I enjoyed the last part of my day because I was with you but what I love the most is this part of the night because I am thinking of you. It's almost midnight and I need to sleep. I just need to write this so that I can put it on my blog and hope that he may read it and he will not be low gets and he will ask me about this and my response would still be depending on the moment that he asks me. I just hate the thoughts that are simultaneously running inside my mind: 

1. He is a temptation that I would like to indulge myself.
2. I would like to tall it to him but I am afraid of what will be his reaction.
3. Infatuation is something that people call to love because they are afraid of love itself.
4. Is love overrated?
5. I want to make an acrostic of his name but I wouldn't dare because of number 2.
6. Lately, I'm finding him HOT! ttttssssssss!
7. Can someone help me with a Plan of Action (POA)? 

I am really afraid that he will make 'diri' to me. I am really afraid that he will keep his distance if he knew about this. This really puts me in a very difficult situation. Acting like I don't like him is something I wouldn't like to do since I am a very transparent person but this is the only way I can do if I want to exist in his world. Honestly, I am really looking forward for his SMS but I guess he is too busy texting his flirtots that he don't even reply to my GMs. I just hope I can device a good POA. 

Like, 

BjornTOT  P.S. I feel like I don't have delicadeza but I can't help it that his moves dictate the beat of my heart.

The written version of this letter.  I am happy and proud of this because I haven't written something of this nature for a long time now.

Gloomy Day for a Judged Person

Poorly edited Photo Editorial of my gloomy day.
 

My day started with excitement for we are supposed to go to Libon, Albay for the Training of New CBR Volunteers, but because of the Tropical Depression Falcon, the activity was cancelled. Since I arrived early at the office, I accompanied Kuya Ching in fetching Ate Azel in Dap-Dap, Legazpi City. 

It was a new experience because for the years that I have stayed in Legazpi, I haven't been to that place. I was amazed by the river along side the house. The flow is dangerously powerful. I didn't know such exists. The street were already flooded. I remembered my childhood when I was about their age, I also played with the flood water and try to look for fishes that was abducted from their natural habitat because of the heavy flow of flood. On our way back to the office, we went through another way. It was a tour since I saw that there was a relocation site in around the area. Wow! I also didn't know that. 

Anyway, I'm going to far from the real story. I was just hurt when I am judged as a sugar something as what they are implying. The issue was a bit vague because I really don't know what they are saying. When I knew what they were talking about, that was the time I was more hurt. It was completely untrue and it was just based on her observation that was already impaired by her judgment. It came from her, a former classmate from college, and told someone without confirming what really happened. Damn! I am hurt. I am pissed. But I know these feelings will just pass. For now, bear with my uncommunicativeness.

My Very First Mobile Post

well, while i am trying to kill time here @ mcdo daraga, curiousity strike me to try blogger using my iPhone. it's just a thought to feed my curiosity. i just hope it's working because it took me a couple of minutes just to load my dashboard. if it's working properly, lucky me! Happy me! if it's not, good thing that i know now. ahaha. ok. i'm gonna click post. fingers crossed. wish me luck! ahaha. 1! 2! 3! GO!

My Angel

I took this photo during a session on the CBR Mid-Year Evaluation.

While I was in Naga, I happened to read in one of the issues of Smile Magazine that one way to have a good photographs is to make your subject pop out. I tried to configure the setting of the camera based on the article, happily, I was able capture this shot.

I was very happy when I saw this shot. It was inspiring in a way because I can capture good photographs. I wish I can get a lot of this in the future until someday, my works will be featured in magazines.

My New Phone

I got a new phone. I bought it from my older brother. It's very cheap that's why I'm so happy. :)  Though I'm missing the features of my old cellular phone . I guess, as soon as I get used to it, I'll be more happy and satisfied.

This is how it looks. :)

My First Encounter with Lightroom 3

I have always wanted to have my computer installed with Lightroom 3.  I've been hearing good things about this and I can't wait until I get my hands on it.  It was just recently that I had a firm attempt to look for a free version of this because I can't afford to buy this kind of software.  Though I failed to have a copy of a free full version, I'm still thankful that I got the trial version.  At least I can edit as many photos as possible for the next 30 days. :)

It was yesterday when I finished downloading the Trail Version of Photoshop Lightroom 3.3.  it took me 8 hours to finish downloading.   Thanks to the slow internet connection that we have.  Anyway, I am still happy I finished downloading it.  I was beyond excited to see how it works because I heard that it's very simple yet elegant photo-editing software.   I'm still familiarizing myself with this.  It's really amazing.  I love it.

Here’s the first output that I made using Lightroom 3 and Photoshop CS4.



Here is the original photo that was taken at Rizal Park, Manila, Philippines.



This is the photo that I edited using the Lightroom 3 and Photoshop CS4

I love how it added drama on this photo.   Another thing that I love about this is that it's not on the preset of Lightroom.  It's a customized effect that was brought about by my curiosity.  I think it's  not yet that superb because I'm still on the exploration phase.  Wait until I mastered it. :)

First Wedding Invitation that I Made

Our Company Cashier, Ate Malen, asked me if I can do her a favor.  She asked me to design the wedding invitation of her nephew's wedding.   Ate Malen, being sweet and very accommodating to my out of schedule requests, I said yes.

At first I was hesitant on what to do.  I was not confident enough to design something that is so important to people.  Imagine, that is a wedding invitation and an amateur artist, if I may say, will do the design.  Luckily, with the help of some research, available free Photoshop brushes that can be downloaded from the internet and the creativity I have, I was able to layout the wedding invitation quite nicely.

Here's the final design that I made.  I was glad that the couple liked it.

 * I did not include the wedding entourage.

Today is their wedding day.  May they have a meaningful and happy married life.

Walk for a Cause

If I can run to save mother earth or to commemorate the anniversary of EDSA Revolution, I guess it's not a shame to walk to save my heart from breaking. That was what I thought but then again, I was wrong. Earlier this morning (March 05, 2011), around 12:40 AM, I was drunk + hurt = crazy behavior. Their giggles and laughter were the most hurtful sounds I've ever heard. I know I don't have the right to be hurt. I love him. I really do but his not mine. So, I decided to walk away. Away from the devouring sounds that's breaking my heart. Away from the person who brings me pain. It's the price I have to pay. I know from the start his heart is close to any girl, what more to a gay like me but because I am too ambitious and so in love with love, but still I continued in wooing him.



There were times when I was uncertain about what I feel about him because I was still clinging to my past and there was a time when I was torn between him and another guy. Now, I decided to commit to him. I decided to leave my past behind and do away with the all the flirting with the other guy. The sad thing is, I look like a joke to him. Everything I do for him is just being ignored or laughed at or am I just being delusional?

Tampo

Sanhi ng tatlong araw na pakikipagbuno ko sa mga malalalim na Filipinong salita na binibitiwan nina Ka'Lito, Ka'Larry at Ka' Paul, pinili kong gamitin ang wikang ito sa blog na ito.

Malaki ang pagkakaiba ng hindi nakasama dahil sa hindi ginusto sa hindi nakasama dahil hindi inimbeta. Mas masakit ang nahuli. Nasaktan talaga ako ng gabing yun ng nalaman ko na nagkaroon pala sila ng konting kasiyahan at hindi man lang ako sinabihan. Hindi sa ipinagsisiksikan ko ang aking sarili, pero akala ko isa kami. Hindi maalis sa aking isipan na baka di nila ako gustong makasama. Nakakalungkot.

Ang hindi ko pagpaparamdam sa texts, hindi pagsama sa pagsimba at hindi ko pagbibigay ng mga komento sa facebook ay aking paraan ng pagpaparating ng aking nararamdaman, subalit parang hindi nila ito nararamdam.  Napakasakit.

Sila ang nagpupuno ng kalungkotan ko nang ang LOSERS and DYOZAS ay hindi na madalas nagkakasama-sama dahil sa trabaho. Sila ang nagpawi ng sakit na naidulot sakin ng bigong pag-ibig. Ngayon, sila ang sanhi ng sakit sa aking dib-dib. Nakakapanglumo.

Ayam ko na lang isipin ang mga nangyari dahil ako lang ang nasasaktan dahil parang hindi man lang nila alam na ako'y may dinaramdam. Gusto ko na silang makasama pero may pumipigil sa akin. Nakakamiss.

Not Just Another Random Rush

Right then and there, I know you would be special
Unintentional attraction grew in an instant
Staring is rude but you do it good
Somehow, your eyes gave me hope.

 
Danger of falling in love is the risk I took
Admiration grew stronger and stronger as I knew you more
Never have I thought that you will be so dear
I am more than thankful for what you've shared with me
Every time with you are some of the moments I treasure most
Life is what we make it so I made you my life.

 
Obvious is what I am
Letting you know in my own simple ways
I just hope you can feel that's genuine
Vying for your affection is never an easy thing
At least, I have the courage to give love another shot for it already failed me a thousand times.

 
Battling the norms, stereotyping and your self-acclaimed indifference is exhausting
All these I will endure just let me do my thing
Loving you is easy but at the same time, it's not
Doing this is my decision, so I'm to blame
Our friendship is what I truly care for
Zest for love is just a spice
And this will grow as long as we are friends.

Death

It's going to be my first post in my blog and it's already about death. Maybe you'll think I'm morbid or what. Let me just say this, You got it right! ahahaha

After I attended the Consultation Workshop for the BSSW Curriculum, I talked to Russ and Aibert. I told them that I don't want to DIE as a social worker because I don't want the idealistic side of me die as a practice my beloved profession. I would love to practice my profession as much as I love my ideals in life for these two are some of the greatest contributing factors of who I am. During the workshop, some of the participants who are practicing the profession for a long time now were saying that the curriculum should be globally competitive and change it to a point where the courses offered are recognized in the international setting. They were all so negative that the curriculum only fits to the Philippine demand. They made their point clear but that kind of curriculum may somehow influence the thinking of the students that after they graduate, they can just go out of the country and look for a greener pasture there. I guess what they failed to see is that maybe CHED made that curriculum that way so that while in the University, it would be inculcated into the minds of the student that they should first serve our country. It's our obligation to our government and to our motherland. After gaining access to a cheaper but quality education, I think it's just right to return the favor by serving our fellow countrymen. Maybe after years of experience and efforts of making a difference and touching lives that is the time that we take special courses where we want to specialize and go abroad.

Another death issue is when we went to Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine located in Buraguis, Legazpi City. When we were on top of the hill where the huge Our Lady of Guadalupe figure is placed, we were talking about when we get sad and want to END OUR LIFE, we just have to go there are jump right off the cliff (clip according to Roxee. hahaha). Russ, being the righteous one, contradicted the idea for we were at that holy place and we should not talk about that because life is a gift. Yes, life is a gift but then again, being the morbid one, I quoted Sigmund Freud who said that THE GOAL OF ALL LIFE IS DEATH. I do believe him. We should not fear death; instead we should be prepared for it. If we see death as a goal in life, we will make sure that everything we want to do and we want to happen will be realized. There will be less regrets because we live our life to the fullest. DEATH IS BEAUTIFUL. It ends suffering to those who suffers. It gives hope to those who are in misery. It makes us express our love the people who are dear to us. It makes us appreciate each day that we are still alive. It leads us to a righteous life because death is also the beginning of an everlasting life. For without death, everything is just tiresome.

When Melvin, Russ and I were eating and talking at Jollibee Daraga about what is happening between North and South Korea and all their allied countries, silence of Russia, the calamities happening around the world, the prophecies and the letter of the three sisters, the movie 2012, another death issue came in. We were talking what if it is true that someday in 2012, the world would end? Actually, I'm terrified not of death but with how I will die. Maybe, we are not really afraid of death; what we are really afraid of is the timing and manner of dying. I, personally, would not want to die amidst the chaos of trying to survive a catastrophe. I just want to die calmly.

Death may bring sorrow to other people and ugly to some but it can't be denied that death is a great teacher. It makes us weak to realize how strong we can be. It makes us long for people who are not with us to teach us love, appreciation, kindness and gratitude. Death brings wisdom for it's a test of faith, courage and gratefulness. I will not fear death but I will take good care of my health because I don't want to invite it right away. I still have a life to live, Cornettos to enjoy, Tanduay Ice to drink, world to explore, clothes to design, people to help, Russ to love, God to praise, family to endear, friends to laugh with, foundation to start and most importantly, a job to find. :D