Uncanny Like Letter

Dear Playful Cupid,

If loving him is wrong then I don't want to be right. Every time I see him dance, I like him even more. It is not a feeling I would like to entertain because just the thought of it is immensely insane. My thoughts are still messy at the moment but one thing is for sure, I like him. Hence, I am on for another rollercoaster of emotions. Having realized this makes e evaluate myself.

One thing is that I have no control over my emotions when it comes to my male friends. I only have a few male friends, there are my classmates from elementary up to college and co-workers. They are my friends because of our constant interaction when I was a students and now, a professional. But having a male friend out of the cited contexts are often subject to other emotion of love because of friendship. Now, I don't want to have close male friends.

Second, standards in looking for someone to love is constantly changing. I even doubt if there are standards at all. He is not my type, but why am I writing this? Simple, because I like him. He's a flirt. He is moody. He's demanding. He's not the typical handsome. His mannerism are often effeminate but I am sure he's straight. All these things, negative things, make him perfectly lovable. Him being nice, good dancer, capable of singing and sounding a bit soothing not just to my ears but to my unpredictable heart, sweet and comfortableness when he's with me are just add-ons. It's just weird that I usually fall for someone because of their negative traits.

Third, I don't know what I want. My emotions for the past love interests of mine are still powerful elements that I am clinging on up to this date. There are no closures. I still think of them. I still hope that there would be a 360 degrees turn of events that would make them run to my arms and share a mutual love. See, I am out of track. 

I am starting to feel sleepy. Today is a tiring day though I enjoyed the last part of my day because I was with you but what I love the most is this part of the night because I am thinking of you. It's almost midnight and I need to sleep. I just need to write this so that I can put it on my blog and hope that he may read it and he will not be low gets and he will ask me about this and my response would still be depending on the moment that he asks me. I just hate the thoughts that are simultaneously running inside my mind: 

1. He is a temptation that I would like to indulge myself.
2. I would like to tall it to him but I am afraid of what will be his reaction.
3. Infatuation is something that people call to love because they are afraid of love itself.
4. Is love overrated?
5. I want to make an acrostic of his name but I wouldn't dare because of number 2.
6. Lately, I'm finding him HOT! ttttssssssss!
7. Can someone help me with a Plan of Action (POA)? 

I am really afraid that he will make 'diri' to me. I am really afraid that he will keep his distance if he knew about this. This really puts me in a very difficult situation. Acting like I don't like him is something I wouldn't like to do since I am a very transparent person but this is the only way I can do if I want to exist in his world. Honestly, I am really looking forward for his SMS but I guess he is too busy texting his flirtots that he don't even reply to my GMs. I just hope I can device a good POA. 

Like, 

BjornTOT  P.S. I feel like I don't have delicadeza but I can't help it that his moves dictate the beat of my heart.

The written version of this letter.  I am happy and proud of this because I haven't written something of this nature for a long time now.